(via freeturtlepictures.com and maybe Kelley Jones)
Turtlepop!
(Turtlepop twists current Internet buzz topics by representing the relevant creator, in this instance Dan Slott, into the guise of Turtle, whom we then proceed to interview.)
PLEASE DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU WANT SPOILERS.
AGAIN, SPOILER ALERT.
TURTLE DOES NOT RESPECT ANYTHING!
Comics Reader: Turtle, there's been great controversy surrounding Amazing Spider-Man recently. In #698, Dr. Octopus switches bodies with Peter Parker.
Turtle: True. They switch bodies. Peter Parker being Spider-Man and Dr. Octopus being PURE EVIL, this is bad. Which is why the idea is so ridiculously awesome.
Comics Reader: Contextually speaking, this is exactly what Dr. Octopus would love, isn't it?
Turtle: Absolutely! The poor dude has been an invalid since "Brand New Day," the popular creative reboot that followed J. Michael Straczynski's "One More Day," which eliminated Peter's marriage to MJ and made him literally swingin' single again. "Brand New Day" lasted for a few years, but eventually "Big Time" came along, for which I was solely responsible, in which Peter finally got everything he ever wanted, including a successful career with a tech firm.
Comics Reader: However, no girlfriend.
Turtle: Girlfriends have no place for a guy who is better at making wisecracks than dinner!
Comics Reader: So what you're saying is that anyone who is wondering what's going on with Amazing Spider-Man #700 should remember that Dr. Octopus has been an invalid for several years now.
Turtle: No, you said that, probably to get this interview back on track.
Comics Reader: True!
Turtle: There was no question there. Despite dying for a really long time, Dr. Octopus never gave up being a villain. I guess I might as well take the initiative here. That's where we're at. Readers should remember that.
Comics Reader: There are rumors that Dr. Octopus will emerge as the permanent new Spider-Man at the end of #700.
Turtle: There are also rumors that Aunt May will dance the jitterbug, and that will absolutely happen, too, and everyone will forget it. The point is, Superior Spider-Man is going to be the start of a bold new era, one that I am extremely proud of. I've been waiting to tell this story for years.
Comics Reader: With Peter Parker?
Turtle: With Spider-Man! Brian Bendis has been writing Spider-Man for several years now without Peter Parker, and you don't hear people complaining.
Comics Reader: Possibly because Ultimate Spider-Man is a pocket continuity?
Turtle: In a weird kind of way, that was a question. Congratulations.
Comics Reader: What do you say to readers who will say that regardless of what wacky things you do in the next several months, Peter Parker will return and be Spider-Man again?
Turtle: I tell them that turtles are the ultimate speed bump.
Comics Reader: Contextually speaking, that makes no sense.
Turtle: Exactly! What I'm saying is, read this stuff. It's big! It's noteworthy! It's historic!
Comics Reader: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is being released on 12/26/12. Any concern that some fans will be too busy on their Christmas high to notice?
Turtle: No. Any other questions?
Comics Reader: Favorite wax?
Turtle: This interview is over!
Of course Spidey will go back to Peter Parker. Just like Batman will always go back to Bruce Wayne and Superman will always go back to Clark Kent. Anytime they try to make it different, you know eventually it will go back to the status quo, which has lasted in some cases for almost 75 years now.
ReplyDeleteBut now I feel better about using body swapping in Book 4 of the Scarlet Knight series, though in that case the Black Dragoon does not become the Scarlet Knight because that would be impossible.
It's not really reflected here, but the body swapping thing is something I consider pretty wonky. But I'll go with it.
DeleteI hope...seriously...that this is permanent. Comics need to be progressing all the time. Even Law & Order allowed its characters to move on. Only "Family CIrcus" freezes its characters forever.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I think once Billy and PJ switched bodies...