The Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #1 (Marvel)

writer: Dan Slott

artist: Adam Kubert

To call this disappointing would be an insult to disappointment.  One of the many spin-off titles from Secret Wars that in no way ape what DC just did with Convergence, Renew Your Vows seemed like Spider-Man I actually wanted to read again.  Because it hearkened back to the era where I most wanted to read Spider-Man, the bi-weekly period where a team of writers wrote one excellent story after another, culminating in "O.M.I.T.," the sequel to "One More Day," the story that kicked it off.  Otherwise known as the end of the Peter Parker/Mary Jane marriange.  Which Renew Your Vows is supposed to correct.

Yeah, so that doesn't really happen.  And I don't know, but does this pretty much mean the whole Dan Slott era that succeeded the bi-weeklies really wasn't for me?  Because Slott's time with Spidey continued the arc-heavy period that he succeeded, but at the cost of distancing the wall-crawler from most of what he had once been.  This was the period where Peter finally got the hi-tech job that made him stop having to mope around all the time because things never work out for him (even though the greatest success from this career turn seems owed to Doctor Octopus from the Doctor Spider-Man era that was...much more of a Doc Ock story than it was a Spider-Man story).

Slott's the writer of Renew Your Vows.  He seems to have been absolutely the wrong choice.

This happy return to the marriage era is immediately presented as less than ideal, MJ depicted as a nagging wife.  And so why are we even doing this?  I have no idea.  Then we find out Spider-Man is doing a lot of overtime because other superheroes aren't doing their part to catch bad guys.  Then we find out why.  Then we meet Amazo Regent.  And for some reason, Venom is the villain who threatens everything Spider-Man holds dear.  Again, I have no idea why.  What does Venom have to do with Spider-Man's secret identity?  Slott doesn't explain.  It would make far more sense if, say, Norman Osborn or any villain remotely related to "One More Day" or anything from the "Big Time" (bi-weekly) era were involved...But no, Venom.  For some reason.

Then Spidey resolves this by killing Venom.  Then we fast-forward a bit and the bouncing baby Adam Kubert can't quite pull off early on is older, and we learn that Peter has consciously decided to let Regent rule New York...And on the cover for next issue?  Apparently...Venom.

It's a nightmare!  And I will not be bothering to check back in.  I've seen people complaining about the overall quality of the Convergence spin-offs.  I personally questioned the value of Convergence: Superman, which finally gave us a story with Lois and Clark having a baby.  I mean, a little late, right?  (Except that's a trio that might show up again if DC ever follows up on their role in helping sort out Crisis On Infinite Earths as suggested in Convergence #8.)  Renew Your Vows ends up like a bad rephrasing of "Old Man Logan," a Wolverine arc that has also been revived for Secret Wars.  (I nearly decided to buy that first issue from last week after all.  I could still do so.  We'll see.)  I have fellow bloggers gushing over Secret Wars so far.  But if the rest of its spin-offs are like this...